There comes a point (or two) on every extended trip I take by myself where the “by myself” part starts to wear a little thin. Don’t get me wrong: I love my solo travels, and some of what I love most about traveling by myself are all the unexpected conversations and friendships you strike up along the way. When you’re traveling with someone else, these moments are far more infrequent. Still, the low points inevitably hit, and it can be hard to see around them, sometimes. I remember a few moments in Costa Rica where I was pretty over the whole “I get to do whatever I want! Yippee!” bit and would have gladly traded a little compromise for some companionship. As I recall, I had some lonely moments in Dominical and Montezuma, and I was really glad to make some travel friends on the way to Monteverde.
Well, that point came early this time, and it came on hard. After a full day in Miraflores, I got back to the apartment planning to take a shower, get dressed, and go out for dinner (how is it possible I haven’t had ceviche yet?!?). I’ve been cooking for myself the whole time, which I’m glad to be able to do, but it was time to experience the wonders of the Peruvian cuisine I’ve been hearing so much about. The problem was, I was starving. Like, ravenous, steal-food-from-a-kid, eat-my-own-arm-off hungry. I had walked almost 7 miles that day, and my lentil and veggie breakfast and blueberry tart weren’t exactly holding me at that point. So, a snack, I thought. I’ll have a snack, then take a shower, do a little work, have a glass of wine, and hit the ceviche bar a little later.
Except my mood turned, for some reason, and all the sudden I was super bummed out, watching the traffic go by, scowling at the people traipsing past in happy little groups, talking and laughing and enjoying their Saturday night. Shit. I did a little work to try to snap out of it, got more and more grumpy, drank a little wine, and finally went to bed, unable to sleep with all the honking and police whistling and general mayhem outside my apartment (see, I knew I would bitch about this sooner or later!). Then I sent some shitty, “why don’t you text me back as soon as I text you” text messages to my ever-so-patient, oh-so-perfect, sweet-as-can be boyfriend (I’m so sorry, honey), felt epically bad about that for a while, and finally fell asleep, mentally shaking my fists at the world. And then I woke up (surprise!) in essentially the same mood.
So today was kind of a lost day, although I did get to FaceTime with my man and have a nice chat with my mom (love you guys!!). After moping around the apartment for a while, I realized that food and movement were probably the best things for me, so I ate a big bowl of granola, grabbed my laptop, and headed for the Plaza de Armas to work on my blog and see all the locals loving on their moms (it’s Mother’s day, if I didn’t mention it). It was a really sweet scene, actually – lots of hugs and hand-holding and flowers and such, and pretty soon I was smiling and wishing people a happy Mother’s Day and feeling pretty good about the world again.
I don’t know if it was the granola or all the love in the air (it was probably the food, let’s be honest), but I’ve finally shaken my stupid, crappy mood. Now that I’m back at the apartment, I think I might reinstate last night’s plan: take a quick shower, put on some warmer clothes, and go hit the town. This ceviche’s for YOU, Ma!